Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Coping with Panic..

Today has been a tough one. Days like these are thankfully few and far between lately, :) (Praise the Lord!) but when they hit, they have a tendency to hit hard.

 I think the toughest part about coping with Generalized Anxiety and Panic Disorder is that it's really hard to predict when it just might rear its ugly head and completely interrupt your day. That, and the fact that it's really hard to explain to others with out sounding like a crazy person.. 

"Hi. Yeah I can't really hang out today, I  just need to stay home so I don't have any mental break downs in a public setting..so maybe next week when I am not agoraphobic anymore?? Okay yeah, catch you then??" 

Sounds like I'm a creeper! 

 You can really only explain Panic Disorder to about 5% of the population and they would truly know what it is that you are talking about. The rest well, just don't. 

Thank God for the people in my life that stick by me even though they don't necessarily understand this challenge I face. 

Today, I had all the intentions in the world to be a mom who had her A game on, for my daughter, for my husband, and most importantly for the Lord.

Thankfully I did get a couple things scratched off of my to do list like dinner and grocery shopping.. (surviving a major panic attack in Target, fun times..)

 Now that list of to do's are being put on hold, and you can find me
 laying in bed seeking God, writing this blog, & looking for answers. Will my life continue to be interrupted by these psychosomatic symptoms, that at times can just stop me in my pursuits filled with great intention? Other questions like: What is it exactly that is the root of this issue? What in my subconscious brings on these episodes of panic, when I don't seem to be thinking of anything that you could classify as problematic?

 I make every effort to take my thoughts captive making them obedient to the word of God. I try to think on the stuff Phil. 4:8 speaks of (look it up it's a good one).

Other questions include: Am I dying? Because these attacks feel like I can't breathe and my heart might just beat out of my chest at any given moment..

Sorry this post is kind of umm on the depressing side, and paints the picture of a victim. To me, writing and sharing this is a free form of therapy. It gets my thoughts out instead of allowing them to fester themselves deeper in my head amplifying the problem at hand.

I would like to ask though, if there is any of you who experience something similar, if you happen to feel led, please share! I would love to hear from you! 

I am full of hope! I know I serve a God who has set me free from the power of fear and anxiety. Just waiting for that to manifest itself in the natural is at times a real challenge.



  1. Oh my sweet girl. I am so very sorry it was a day like that. :( I don't know the answers, but I seek God with you. You are not crazy. You are so valuable and loved. My heart cries out for you Sarah. I love you.

  2. Sarah, I am praying for you and will continue to do so. You are such a blessing and if you ever need to talk please call me. I always think of Romans 8:26 when I am too weak to pray. "And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.". You are not alone. Love ya, Stephanie Calderone

  3. Oh my sweet friend....we are in this together. Fortunately and unfortunately. But, we will do WHATEVER we have to do to get through it....holding each other hands, and most importantly the Lords.

    Love you. No, seriously.... =)